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Smallville: WARRIOR Nightmare

February 15, 2010
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Season 9 Originally Episode 11, Aired 13th

Written by Bryan Q. Miller (COMMITTED, BULLETPROOF, HEX, ECHO)

Directed by Allison Mack (POWER)

When fans first saw the winter hiatus promo for this episode, there was a large groan and then a wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Clark Kent was whammied again and being straddled by random female.  Sigh.

We were excited about Zatanna Zatara returning because we loved her in HEX.  She seemed personable, flirtatious with Oliver, and more like her comic origins than other characters from the DC Universe.  Considering she was astride Clark this go round and macking on him big time – we thought either she got whammied too or they’d make Zatanna unlikeable.  Either scenario was distasteful.  So when TPTB moved this episode after ABSOLUTE JUSTICE (due to the Haiti Concert), we all moaned because we had to wait even longer to get this episode over and done with.  Not our usual modis operandi this fantastic season.

I usually write my reviews on Sat after viewing the episode a few times.  It’s very reclusive.  I don’t read other critiques or message boards during that time. Since we’ve been doing blogtalkradio at Superverses, that has changed a bit.  I prepare for that spot usually with research of some kind – mostly comic book related.  Friday night after this episode aired, I was one of many who were up til the wee hours helping talk people ‘off the ledge.’  That’s a term used when fandom websites turn into battle fields.  The wounded usually try to find a safe spot.  Because, Baby, it’s a jungle out there.

Due to the Crisis of the Oh-Hell-No Kind.  Some of us had to gain some perspective by talking it out and taking very deep breaths.  Fears of the Arc of Suck revisiting abounded.  Some have named blondie’s midseason mini-arc ChAoS (Chloe’s Arc of Suck).  Like Great White sang, “Once bitten, twice shy, Baby.”

We even got a new rendition of Swimmer and Slavkin’s ‘you’ll love it’ (that introduced last season’s Arc of Suck) just before the episode aired.  In an interview, the director stated that the episode was sweet, reminiscent of seasons 1 thru 3 and would return to the core of the story. Yea, uh huh.

Personally, I was worse off before the episode aired.  It was dubious if I would get to see Clark Kent get his very strong will (a first on Smallville).   He did and I breathed a sigh of relief and cheered for Clark because he’s definitely on his way to being the hero and man he’s always been in the comics.

BUT the character assassination of Zatanna Zatara was inexcusable.  While spending a year undoing all her father’s curses, she apparently became a sexual predator.  I don’t use those words lightly.  Whether this was another one of those strange ideas of ‘girl power,’ I couldn’t tell you.  I half expected to hear 2 Live Crew playing in the background of her scenes.  Big question fans are asking, WHY?  Zee blatantly whammies Clark with a spell so he can ‘gain some perspective’ (read: sex) against his will.  Magic is basically manipulation of some kind.  Manipulation of someone’s will is evil.  The comics have previously addressed male superheroes being raped.  One was Dick Grayson as Nightwing and the other was Green Arrow.   Definitely not a ‘sweet’ thing to see on Smallville and definitely not part of the ‘core’ of the show.  Yes, I know it was to demonstrate that Clark’s strong will and love for Lois can break any hold on him, but did you have to trash Zee to do that?  We can’t understand why Miller would introduce a great character last season and make her into a rude, unremorseful, one dimensional plot device the next.

Season 9 has been so great.  There have been so many wonderfully crafted episodes; so when a mediocre one comes along, it sticks out like a sore . . . appendage.  Warrior wasn’t horrible.  In fact, I’d give Clark a ten and Lois a ten.  Clark is multitasking his Blur duties while presumably courting Lois.  Lois is diving into her work by dressing up in geek gear for the Met Con and enjoying her soulmate.  It is really good to see this couple exploring their relationship and how it’s going to work for them.  What confused fans most; there was a blahna inference which placed this episode out of sync  — probably should have occurred before PANDORA.  Clark confessed to Zee that he was holding Lois Lane at arm’s length.  HUH?  In DISCIPLE, he was stealing kisses, wondering why Ms. Lane wouldn’t let him help her with her coat and then asked her to go star gazing (make out session) at the farm.  Uh, yea.  BQM is this season’s story editor.  What happened?

This episode was neither sweet nor reminiscent of seasons 1 through 3 (females didn’t start straddling Clark until season 4 when Lois showed up – think: continuing to disrespect Lois), and I found the last two minutes blatantly creepy.  It reminded me of the last two minutes of BULLETPROOF which introduced the rancid heart of the previous Arc of Suck.  At best, this episode was mixed.  So I will attempt to pick the diamonds out of the crap hole.

TEASER:

Alec, 12 year old, admires the original Warrior Angel comic #0 at the Met Con.  No one has ever read it, not even the publisher.  He manages to get the keys to the case and steals the rare issue.  Lois is at the Con dressed as a Star Wars Stormtrooper and literally bumps into blondie.  Ollie is out chasing Captain Boomerang apparently (who was in the Suicide Squad and Secret Society of Super Villains).  DC Comics and other Star Wars figures are prominent at the convention.  People dressed as their fav characters from different scifi fandoms mill happily about.  Chlo-Lo is revisited.  It’s so rare that we see blondie actually treat her cuz like she’s family.  Guess she wanted to look good for this episode.  Lois is not getting any interviews wearing the armor.  “No wonder Clark’s been avoiding me. I am losing touch with fantasy without even realizing it.”  We see a fan standing with two Con babes in front of a Roman soldier statue.  (Stephen DeKnight, who used to write for Smallville, introduced his Starz series, Spartacus, at the San Diego Comic Con this year.)  Lois is worried she has a fear of intimacy (HUH? Again?).  She’s not even having her fantasies about Clark anymore.  (Yea, they were good.  We miss them, too.)  Lois thinks blondie should have some fun and get her head out of her ‘crackberry.’  Blondie thinks Lois should get into her work.  Well, she is there on assignment – but Lois works incessantly when she’s in a bad relationship.  She is not at the moment so she’s enjoying her work and her fun.

Alec takes the comic to a back storage room, opens it and says the three words that activate a curse.  The kid becomes the Warrior Angel.  (Much as Billy Batson does when he says Shazam and becomes Captain Marvel)  The power of the spell knocks a planet replica off its hinges and of course blondie is right under it.  Warrior Angel saves the day.  Blondie finally has her superhero.   Credits.

ACT ONE:

Clark gets creative while being the Blur.  He’s welded two perps into a fence as his phone rings.  It’s Lois.  He’s apologizing for being late.  He explains he is doing chores.  She asks if he’d pick something up at her place.  He says sure but then starts to stall.  She informs him he can’t renege on a raincheck and that lately she is soaking in disappointment from all the precipitation.  A masked man makes a run for it down the alley.  Clark spies a can in the trash and hurtles it through the air.  It conks the guy in the head and he goes down for the count.  Quarterback still has his arm.  The Blur tells his girlfriend he’s driving by the Talon now.  “What do you need?”  Now there’s a leading question.  Jump on it, Lois!

“What was that whooshing sound?”  See, girlfriend has the brain cells.  Clark opens her closet door.  He mumbles something about the truck window.  “Okay, here’s what I got.”  He holds up her red leather jacket from COMBAT, which he has seen.  They took it off her shoulders before their fight.  “Nope,” she says.  He puts it back.  Next is the red, white, and blue of Amber Waves from EXPOSED.  He’s real familiar with that.  “Salute the flag?”  Yea, especially when she was in your lap.  “Less gabbin, more grabbin.”  She should have said that to him in Season 5.  He returns it.  “French maid outfit?”  Now that one he’s never seen before.  He seems fascinated by it.  Lois grins.  “Need to know basis.”  He looks it up and down one more time before it goes back on the rack.  Turning around he spots a garment bag.  He reports the find.  “Finally!  There ya go.  Now that wasn’t that hard, was it?”  He lets out a sigh of relief.  “Piece of cake.”  Clark grabs the bag as Lois tells him, “You’re my hero.”  And he’s off with words he’s always wanted to hear from her.

The kid is admiring his studly man body in a full length mirror as blondie comes to question him.  Carlo Marks did a fantastic job of being the man boy.  Blondie makes him put on a t-shirt.  And then she tells him she’s in the business of helping superheroes and makes an attempt at flirtation.  Yea, whatever.

Clark bumps into a guy dressed like the Red Blue Blur. Then he’s grabbed by Lois Lane, who manhandles him against a curtain.  “Hey, you only get to frown that much when you’ve been sweating like a pot roast all afternoon.”  Is that like beef bourguignon?  I don’t think he’d be frowning after that.  He apologizes as he morosely seems bewildered by all the fans of superheroes.  “It’s like everyone has a popcorn image of what being a hero is all about.”  He hands Lois the garment bag.  She grins and chuckles.  “It’s called a fantasy, Clark.”  He frowns and furrows his brow.  “An escape.  Something, I don’t know, more magical than what we have in our normal lives.”  He doesn’t seem convinced.  “The reality of being a hero is about sacrifice, responsibility and accountability . . . from what I’ve heard.”  Hey, make a list and check it twice, Big Guy.   Lois can’t believe her ears.  “Did you . . . just swear off whimsy? Was there a memo?  Look a costume is not just about hiding who you are.  It’s about seeing the world in a way you haven’t before.”  We’re still getting furrowed brow Clark.  She aims her startrooper rifle at him.  “What’s your dream?”  That’s probably the first time anyone has asked him that question on the show.  “Getting swept away in a little fantasy might do you some good every once in a while.”  She smiles at him as he seems to acknowledge she might be right.

They are rudely interrupted.  For a show that is trying to establish its core relationship, no time is spent on allowing these two to linger with each other at all in this episode.  Zee takes her hat off while espousing the virtues of fantasy and magic as Lois had just said.  Lois is nodding in agreement.   “Zatanna, when did you . . .”  She steps up close to Clark.  Lois is invisible apparently.  “We need to talk, Blue.”  HUH?  Since when did she call him Blue?  “Alone.”  Lois quits smiling.  Clark looks at her like ‘what the hell?’  Realizing her faux pas, she turns to Lois and in a barely apologetic tone, “I hope it’s okay if I borrow him for a bit.”  Lois closes her mouth and nods.  Clark starts to introduce them when Zee turns him in the opposite direction and pats his shoulder.  Lois is left looking after them.  “Not exactly what I meant by being swept away.”  Yea, someone definitely doesn’t like Lois.  Note:  Zee is totally buttoned and is wearing her bow tie.

ACT TWO

Clark and Zee are walking around the Con.  Clark makes small talk about her father.  “A lot can change in a year.”  Apparently John Zatara went on a cursing spree and she’s been trying to clean up his mess.  The comic book was cursed and the thief is feeling the effects of true power, just like in the comic.  She sashays around talking about usually being a solo act.  “And I can’t think of anyone better to help me with this than you.”  She’s invading his space already.  We hear Lois giving someone hell through Clark’s superhearing.  Well at least he’s monitoring his girlfriend.  He excuses himself from Zee who seems incredulous he would ignore her come on.  Clark heads over to where his paramour (soon hopefully) is.  There’s a huge line for the men’s room but Clark keeps on going despite jeers from the waiters.  “Lois, why are you in the men’s bathroom?”  Now he could knock that door down with his little finger if he wanted to.  “You obviously haven’t seen the line for the women’s room.”  She’ll keep him normal.  “Lois!”  He can see the natives are getting restless.  “Just a minute!”  He hears the door open behind him and eyebrows go up as the guys behind him lean to get a better look.  Knee high sandals with three inch heels.  Wonder Lane has arrived.  She gives him a huge smile.  She is stunning.  All the guys behind him agree.  Lois is enjoying this.  She approaches her audience and with Mr. Spock salute.  “Stop gawking and prosper,” said with sass.  Clark’s a little breathless.  “So that’s what was in your bag?”  He didn’t x-ray vision it?  Dude, all work and no play makes Clarkie a dull boy!  Oy!

With hands on hips, Lois says an aside to Clark as he checks out her backside.  “This Amazon Princess won’t get nerd walled again.  But I still don’t know how this qualifies as Amazon.  But whatever.”  She’s on the move and Clark is following.  She’s talking as he enjoys the view.  “A story finally happened, right under my nose.”  She’s excited.  “Someone stole . . .”  He finishes, “a rare Warrior Angel comic book.”  She stops as he takes two steps ahead of her.  He turns to see her stunned face.  “I know.  My friend, Zatanna, told me.  She’s into antiquities.”  We see Zee standing not too far away and watching them.  “She has a few leads she wants me to help her track down.”   Lois knows what she’s dealing with.  “I bet you do,” she says with a smirk.  “Lois, it’s not like that.”  Lois shakes her head, “No, I get it.”  She shrugs and nods.  Clark is not only going to go off with this rude tart but he’s also working on the same story as she is.  A centurion with no breastplate, except for his six pack abs approaches Lois.  “Mind if I get a picture with you?”  Clark looks at the guy as Lois checks out what he’s displaying.  She hands Clark the camera.  “Take a picture?”  Clark does as she requests.  She smiles as the centurion gets close behind her.  Clark snaps the picture.  Lois grabs the camera and tells him, “We’ll cover more ground if we split up anyway, right?”  She slaps his shoulder as she passes him with centurion in tow.  We see Zee eying all of this in the background.

BDA is back.  Why? Lois has her bolt reflex.  Her boyfriend is going to go off with magic seductress to search for a comic book.  Yea, right.  Clark is really a sad sack.  No more laughing, no more fun.  No more chewing bubble gum.  In total confusion, Clark wonders what just happened.  “How . . .”  Zee looks at him and he stands there.

High maintenance coffee drinker blondie watches as man boy chokes on his hot coffee.  More talk about superheroes and their origins.  He superhears someone in the distress.  He runs off and saves a red jacketed kid from bullies.  He saves the day.

Back storage room at the Con.  Zee has lost her bow tie and is completely unbuttoned.  Director’s or actor’s choice?  Was it something that happened between takes?  Ahhh, isn’t that sweet?  She’s used a locator spell but is not convinced it was accurate.  “I guess you can’t expect magic to be an exact science,” says our newly resurrected BDA.  This sends Zee into a happy frenzy at his intelligence, charm and wit.  She gives him the once over.  “Mr. Blur has upped his game.”  Clark gives her a sheepish grin as his attention is diverted.  He moves a box and finds the comic.  “Found it.”  Zee moves in close behind him.  “I always knew you were packing some heavy artillery under that tie, but seeing through walls?  Now that’s a show stopper.”  It was a cardboard box!  Clark stands and looks at the comic.  “All in a day’s work, I guess.”  Zee must have been a cheerleader.  Sis boom bah!  “With your powers . . .?”  Mr. Modest says, “I don’t really think about it.  Being like this is almost like breathing now.”  Zee presses closer.  “And with a gift like that comes . . . responsibilities.”  Mr. Serious responds, “Exactly!  I’ve spent so much time doing what is right that I guess I haven’t had any time for anything but reality.”  He talks about the Con fans not getting it.  She walks towards him agreeing with him.  She understands him, don’t ya know.  “But hey, at least you have that fiery space trooper to star gaze with at the end of the day.”

So this is where it all goes downhill.  Clark confesses that since his last relationship, (Why are we bringing her up in Season 9?) he’s been holding Lois at arm’s length.  Really?  And Clark knows that Zod, the evil Kandorian, is after her so he’s pushing her away?  What kind of hero is he?  Yea, definitely out of sync.  Zee tells him he’s afraid if the sparks ignite he’s going to get burned.  “Right now, everything is under control,” he says adamantly.  She tells him fantasy isn’t about being under control.  “And fire doesn’t always have to burn.”  She circles him telling him he needs a true moment of fantasy.  Guess who’s volunteering for the job.  She says ‘set the mood’ backwards and lighted candles appear everywhere.  Clark says he’s good, thanks.  She pulls at his jacket.  “Fire is what keeps us alive.”  She says ‘go with the flow’ backwards, Clark is whammied, they start kissing.  He sits in a chair.  She straddles him.  Fifteen seconds later, Clark pulls back, tosses her off his lap as he stands.  And in a panic says, “I can’t do this!”  He looks as if he’s in shock.  He should be.  “That’s a shame,” she says as she picks up the comic.  “I think we’ve found a mouth more magical than mine,” she smiles.  Clark appears scared shitless.  With a big grin, she saunters off leaving him disillusioned and gulping.  We know that Clark doesn’t understand evil or why it would be perpetuated on him and his budding romance with Lois.

ACT THREE

DP at night.  Never a new moon in Metropolis.  The elevator doors open to reveal Clark walking towards the bullpen.  He looks determined to see his girl.  He knows when she gets upset, she throws herself into her work.  He stops short as if something doesn’t appear to be right.  He furrows his brow.  Oliver gives Lois’ forehead a friendly kiss as she waits on the phone.  “See you later.”   Lois says, “Thank you.”  Clark blinks and slightly scowls.  He’s walking again as if he’s going to get to the bottom of this.  Oliver comes around the corner and says, “Hey!”  Clark looks at him sideways.  “Oliver, what’s up?”  They’re nearly toe to toe.  “Me?  Just owed Lois some Sharks’ tickets.”  Clark closes his mouth and nods.  Lois will probably want him to go to the game with her – and he has all these responsibilities, y’know.  He’s her boyfriend and he should be buying her tickets, holding her hand and kissing her body.  (Physical contact of any kind between our couple won’t happen in this episode.) “But you, Buddy!”  That draws Clark’s attention.  “You might be bulletproof but you might want to duck and cover in there.”  Ollie can barely contain his laughter.  “Good luck.”  He gives Clark’s arm a pat as he goes to the elevator.

Clark approaches the room.  His stare is intent on Lois.  He starts to smile.  She’s sitting on her desk, phone to her ear, legs crossed.  She gets off the desk and awkwardly tries to be nonchalant.  “Hey!  So your friend, Zatanna . . .What was she dressed up as anyway?”  Big gulp from the big guy as his eyes dart away from hers.  Lois reads the signs as she walks to the other side of the room with phone cord in tow.  Clark tries to chuckle, “That’s just how she dresses.”  Lois has her back to him as she gets a cup of coffee.  Clark is having a terrible time trying not to get tangled up in the cord.  “Of course it is,” beams Lois as she purses her lips.  Clark talks fast.  “Lois, you don’t have anything to worry about with Zatanna.”  He pulls on his jacket.  “Of course I don’t,” she says pouring coffee still not facing him.  Is he staring at her bum?  “Wanna know why?”  He blinks as his eyebrows lift.  “Jealous women worry.  But me, not jealous.  Not even a little.  See, I know that I have nothing to worry about because . . .” she turns to face him.  “Clark Kent, he is the most honest man I know.”  Clark stares at her probably calculating that he has to tell her so it won’t damage her or what they have.  He gulps.  “So if anything were to happen between the farm boy and Lady Fishnets.  Lois Lane would be the first to know about it.  Not the last, right?”  (Full disclosure has always been the rule for these two.)

Clark opens his mouth to speak but she holds up a finger indicating her call is going through.   “Well, you can tell your supervisor that I find it highly ironic that I can’t find anyone in missing persons.”  She has walked to another desk and tries to hang up the phone on the wrong phone set.  The receiver goes flying across the room as Clark superhumanly catches it.   He gives her a half grin and lets out a breath.  She stares at him, mouth slightly agape.  There’s some eye talk.  “When did we go from missing comic to missing persons?”  Lois goes to a keyboard and tells him the boy’s aunt had reported him missing.  The security cameras at the Con caught him stealing the comic.  Alec Abrams has the cops after him now.  “Lois, we have to find him as soon as we can.”  His girl has been doing her homework.  Alec was flagged as a potential story.  Apparently he was writing letters to the Blur.  Clark pulls one out of the box.  “I wish I could be a hero so I could have saved my parents.”  Lois says the kid needs a big brother.  “He’s just looking for someone to understand what he’s going through.”  Well, she’s standing right beside you.

Wow. Project Natal! Lolo must be makin the big bucks.  Stephen Swift, the man boy, is playing while blondie sits on the couch looking expectant yet confused.  She’s got this stud puppy in her cuz’s apartment and he just wants to play video games.  Blondie decides to give it a try since he won’t answer any of her questions.  Eventually the inevitable happens, he lifts into the air.  Yea, blondie gets to fly – off the Talon firescape and into the Metropolis sky.  Just as it is written in the comic book.

Apparently there has been the beginnings of a heated discussion in regards to the assault sex, magic . . . well, there’s probably isn’t any blood.   Unless Zee got re-hymenated like Dean in Supernatural.  Clark is angry about what happened.  Zee thinks it’s funny he’s so put out.  She puts out so why shouldn’t he?  Yea, that screwy girl power thing.  “So you got caught up in the moment.”  Clark tightens his jaw.  “Under magical duress.”  She disappears and reappears behind him.  “I was just trying to give you some perspective, Clark.”  Oh yea, let me use that term in my next NC-17 fanfic.  Her perspective was wet with the anticipation of giving it to him.

Zee tells him with their busy lives, they need to take breaks once in a while.  Clark disagrees.  “We don’t get to take breaks.”  Zee changes her argument.  “Which is why us Superfriends have to stick together.”  So she just wants to get sticky with him?  I think that was fairly obvious.  “I think I have a spell for that.”  No sheeeeit.  She smiles at him.  He’s not smiling back.  Blondie arrives and thinks she may be interrupting something.  Clark says no and Zee smiles and says yes.

I interrupt this moment to wonder why Zee is so comfortable in the Watchtower.  Is she working for blondie now?  Why didn’t Clark meet her previously there within the past year?

Zee thinks blondie appears in good spirits.  She says she’s been having fun with a 12 year old.  She doesn’t really say it like that.  She sees that they have been investigating something.  Clark tells her the company that published the comic stole the idea from a friend of Zatanna’s father.  Before he can tell her anything more, Zee interrupts him.  She explains her father put a curse on the comic to teach the publisher a lesson.  “But the publisher never opened the comic and neither did anyone else.  Not til yesterday.”

Blondie reads the boy’s name in the comic and realizes what’s happened.  She tries to cover by saying having another hero on the street is a good thing.  But her fantasy is destroyed by Clark who tells her, “It isn’t if he’s just a kid.”  The curse should have turned Alec into a full grown hero.  They’re plan is to use Watchtower to see what he looks like as a man and then Zee will put a counter curse on him.  Blondie tears out of there like greased lightning.  Zee discovers there’s a monster at the end of the book.  “It’s the birth of a villain.  In the original story, Warrior Angel becomes Devilicus.”  (This issue #0 is a secret origins and retcons whatever we knew about Warrior Angel previously.)  “And the moment our hero feels the slightest bit betrayed.”  “He becomes a monster.”

It’s ironic (or maybe not) that they are discussing this probably near the bloodspot where Jimmy and Doomy died.  In the initial continuity of Warrior Angel presented on Smallville, Devilicus looked liked Doomsday.  Davis felt betrayed by blondie and killed Jimmy.

ACT FOUR

Blondie meets up with Stephen and tells him her friend will get him back to normal.  He doesn’t want to be normal.  He doesn’t like getting beaten up by bullies.  Imagine that, a superhero that doesn’t want to be normal?  Of course with her incredible way with children, she tells him he’s going to have to suck it up, that’s what being a kid is all about.  “I won’t go back.  You can’t make me.  No one can.”  After looking at the anger in his soul, Stephen changes.  (I liked the comic figure in his eyeball.)  Devilicus no longer looks like Doomsday (too bad for blondie), but he does resemble Clark after the last blahna kiss.  Ewwww.  “I have a feeling no one is going to push me around ever again.”  Trust me, dude.  She’ll give it a good try.

Zee has a pentagram of salt on the floor with the comic in the center.  The computer is still trying to get a facial age simulation on Alec.  There’s a match and it pops up Stephen and blondie at the Met Con.  Clark wonders why she didn’t tell them.  Zee explains that she was probably too embarrassed and ashamed.  Clark knows that blondie would try to fix it herself.  He listens for her and finds her screaming.  Clark makes sure Zee’s counter curse is ready to go.  She says yea, more or less.  “Bring our girl home.”  Really?  Yea, blondie is all that and Lois is just a bump in the road.  Nice.  Add to that we get the shirt rip to reveal the ‘S’ for blondie.  Yep, just like last year only with blahna 2.0.  The glorification of blondie.

Zee with crystal ball in hand starts her chanting to counter her father’s curse.  Lots of fire.  Good effect.

Well, it’s not the DP roof this time. But blondie is now on top of the Gargoyle building.  Bummer.  Of course her life is being threatened.  Yea, whatever.  “I don’t want to hurt you, Chloe, but I will if I need to.”  Well, there’s genuine caring, huh?  Real sweet.  “Lethal enforcers are way more interesting.”  Zee’s voice is heard as Devilicus clasps his ears to shut her out.  We hear Zee say, “Innocence lost is once again found.”  The comic in the middle of the pentagram burns.

There’s an explosion and, of course, blondie topples from the top of the gargoyle. Tainted ground now.  Clark catches her as he leaps up the building.  At least he didn’t destroy any vehicles this time.  Blondie asks, now only boy, Alec if he is all right.  They’re both crying.  Clark tells them everything is going to be okay, but blondie doesn’t seem so sure.

ACT FIVE

Kent Farm. Folk music is playing.  Alec is in the loft as Clark ascends the stairs.  So seeing the Blur’s face wasn’t enough.  Now the kid gets to know Clark’s secret also.  (Yea, everybody gets to know but . . . Lois.)  Sigh.  When I first saw this scene, I thought, yea, sweet Superman talk.  But someone on a fan website pointed out that the conversation very well could be blondie’s arc this season.  “No one starts out wanting to be the bad guy.  Life can be pretty hard on you sometimes, huh?  Y’know the test of a true hero is not letting the sadness and the loneliness take over.”  Bingo!  That’s blondie right now.  “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.”  SAVIOR – Clark would not go back in time to save Jimmy.  Alec thinks that must be hard especially with superpowers.  “It is.  I do it because I want to help people.  Not because I have to, but because I chose to.”  Clark tells Alec to go home and be a kid.  The next time he runs into a bully to remember there is some goodness in them because everyone is worth saving.  “And a hero’s work is never done.”

Before he leaves, Alec gives Clark a picture he drew.  It’s of the Red Blue Blur.  Basically the Superman costume with RBB on the chest and a mask.  “I like the ‘S’ better.”  Clark says, “I do, too.”

The DP in the daytime. Alec and Clark descend the stairs as Alec’s aunt hugs him.  Clark waves goodbye.  Zee is there.  Why?  What am I saying?  She knows no boundaries in this episode.  She thinks there’s magic in his eyes (she wishes) or pride in a job well done.  “I think I always gain a bit of perspective when you blow through town.”  (You don’t even want to know the critique of that sentence, trust me.  Gaby, you were right.)  “Girl might just start to crush on you.”  What was she doing before???  She wants to stay together as a team.  Yea, right.  “As flattered as I am . . ,” begins always polite Clark.  We hear Lois’ voice in the back ground as Clark looks her way.  She does work there.  She’s allowed to be there.  Zee turns to see Lois has tangled herself up in the phone cord this time.  Lois is exasperated.  Clark is still looking at his girl.  “I think I’m interested in finding my fantasy somewhere else.”  That means no, nada, no freakin way, ho hound. Leave already!  He’s still looking at Lois as Zee says, “It must be love.”  He then looks at Zee with a blank face.  “Make sure she knows how lucky she is, Clark.”  He grins slightly.  Zee ascends the stairs and takes one last look at Clark.  He goes towards his girl who still is fighting with the cord.  She sees him.  She stops.  “Hey.”  He’s amused.  Finally Lois lifts the cord over her head while talking.  “I don’t know how many wands she had to wave but your lady magician managed to get the charges dropped against Alec.”  She hangs up the phone and Clark goes into explanatory mode.  “What helped was that she knew the family of the original author.  Listen about Zatanna.”  He’s following her into the copy area.  “Lois, I . . . Let me preface this by saying that she is just a friend . . .”  Lois rounds the corner.  “Spit it out, Clark.”

Setting down her stuff, Lois crosses her arms and waits expectantly.  Clark pauses to collect his thoughts.  This is a do or die moment for them.  For a farm boy, Clark is doing some fast talking.  “When we were tracking down the lead for the comic, which was the truth and totally still is the truth, her and I got to talking about the fact that she was really stressed out about being on the road for so long.”  (Why do I hear a song from the White Album in my head at the moment?)  “And I guess I got caught up in my own stuff so much that I didn’t realize she had gotten so close to me.”  With a big gulp of air, he pauses, thinks about his next words, “She kissed me.” (and then it’s off to the races!)  But it’s not what I meant to happen.”  He’s quite forceful here.  “Honest.”  His lower lip quivers a bit.  He’s really scared of what may come.  Tom, you’re beautiful.  Extremely well done.

Lois with a somewhat unreadable expression slightly nods.  “I was wondering how long it would take for you to fess up.”  He blinks somewhat confusedly.  “Clark, for a guy without a single poker face, you’ve got like a million tells.  And you wouldn’t look me in the eye – and you smelled like a magazine insert.”  She’s a smart cookie, Clarkie.  His head is slightly lowered taking it in.  “Well, let me assure you that this will never happen again.”  She gives him the ‘oh really’ with the eyes.  He comes clean about what he’s feeling.  “Lois, it’s just this whole thing with us. . .”  He grins like it’s better than pie.  “It’s new to me right now.”  He looks into her eyes.  She looks away and back at him as she says, “Yea.  It’s new for me, too.  Do you think that I like . . being insecure?  I don’t.  I just have to get used to the reality that I’m not the only gal that thinks that you’re fantastic.”  Clark sees that she has no walls up.  He grins when she finishes.  “This isn’t the reaction that I expected,” he says with relief all over his face.  “Expect the unexpected?” shrugs Lois.  Jeff/Geoff/Jeph the intern walks around Clark.  Lois grabs him and lays one on him.  Her eyes are everywhere but on the guy she’s kissing.  Well, she did warn him.  Clark goes to say something, but Lois is done making her point.  He side watches the intern as he staggers back into the bullpen.  Lois has her finger ready to make a point.  “That look on your face?  Remember how that feels the next time one of your sexy lady friends invades your personal space.”  They calmly stare at one another.  Clark makes the first move.  “I’m going to finish my apology now.”  In the two shot, we see Clark pull something from his jacket pocket.  Lois is standing grinning at him.  “At the end of the Con every year, there is a . . . costume ball.”  Lois looks at the tickets in his hand.  “You hate costumes.”  She knows him so well.  “Yes!  But I was rethinking what I said about not understanding. . . “  He takes a longer pause. It seems to be a bit of a struggle.  “fantasy.”  Lois looks a bit shocked at this revelation.  “And uh.”  He looks down at the tickets and blows out a nervous breath.  He then looks at her.  “You asked me what my dream was and, it’s this . .  .with you, Lois,”  he says softly.  She smiles at him.  We see her fingers on the tickets now.  She looks into his eyes.  “Now that, my friend, . . .is an apology,”  she nods for emphasis.  Clark gives her his lop sided grin.  “I get to pick out your costume,” she says as she pulls on him.  And then he’s happily going off camera. It’s an abrupt transition.  We don’t get to see the touching.  In fact, there was no touching between these two – not in a dating couple way.  Which is a tragedy in and of itself.

The reason Clark and Lois’ relationship seemed to be taking a backseat this episode may be because of the next scene.  They couldn’t outshine the introduction of lonely, sad, (and pathetic) blondie and her f-buddy, Ollie.  Yea, this could be the start of something horrible.  It can only end badly, that’s for sure.  Blondie has an itch and she’s drinking it up with the Master Scratcher.  Considering that ABSOLUTE JUSTICE was supposed to air after this episode – Ollie’s first scene was him entering the Watchtower, discovering blondie was spying on him in every way, and him telling her his emails with Black Canary were simply platonic.  He’s a hound dog and if blondie thinks he will ever give that up for her – oh yea, that’s the betrayal thing, right?

So more time suck between the couple that never will be, while we wait for the Iconcic couple to get on with it already.

Rating:  7 out of 10. It was not sweet.  It was only reminiscent of season one through three because of its continuity problems.  But it did get back to the core of the story.  Clark Kent has his Lois Lane now and he’s never going to let anything come between them again.  We really appreciate the mature, respectful, fun relationship they have on the show.   Can we get to the fun, sexy stuff soon?

TRAILER:

Clark gets some dust blown on him during a Valentine’s Day celebration and persuades Lois to take a more traditional approach to their relationship.  Lois goes Silver Age June Cleaver.  She’s cooking attired in dress, apron and pearls.  Clark sits at the head of the table with food galore and a smoking rack of lamb.  She’s quit her job. And she can’t wait to get engaged.  We see Lois dancing in front of a mirror in a wedding dress.  Reminiscent of Durance’s I, Me, Wed movie.  Friday, February 19th is the Valentine’s Day show.  Can’t wait!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Jarrod permalink
    March 13, 2013 9:47 pm

    has anyone noticed lois is dressed like wonder woman

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